He is always very understanding and cares very much for me...even when I come back exhausted he makes no complaints about tending to my every need, I wish there was more I could do to show him how much I really appreciate him..maybe I'll plan a special evening..just for the two of us. [grins a bit deviously]...yes...I believe I will.

I don't think I know how to express myself just right..or I do or say something that hurts the people I love..Rolo is so sure it feels like sometimes that I don't love or want him..I wish I knew what to do to prove myself too him. I suppose I can't blame him though..I just wish he knew how much he really saved me by being there for me..and just being him. One day perhaps my true feelings will come through and erase doubt from my loved ones minds where they stand in my heart.

...sometimes I wonder if I've gone too far..today I happened to take my dear brother's virginity in a CLOSET of all things, not that it wasn't extremely enjoyable or done with anything less then love...but then..I ran away with his pants..I wonder if he'll speak to me again..[chuckles a bit] well...I guess when he comes back to the dorm we'll see..I wonder if he ever found an extra pair of pants...[looks thoughtful]

how I had something like Rollo and his devotion beside me the entire time..and I just took advantage of it..I was so angry at first when I found out that I had been decieved...even to the point I swore to use and hurt him the way I had been..but in the end I couldn't turn away the real feelings that I had..as I told him "You might not be my real brother...but those times we shared and those feelings..THOSE are real.." I never realized just how true those words could be...[gives a soft smile] for instance...one of my favorite moments we shared...



I truely do love you Rollo and I promise I will become your family for real this time

...I couldn't help but find my Suzu adorable here...*smiles a bit*

Sometimes it amazes me how mundaine and dull life can be...at times one must wonder why we fight for it so hard. I wish Suzu was here..he always did know the right things to say at times like these

Konnichi wa minna~ Luluch here I hope you all enjoy my little rantings *bows* and no I am so not Suzaku's uke! That icon..it lies!